Madre Offices, Buenos Aires

There are many reasons for this, mainly I didn’t have much to write and secondly I am really frustrated with not knowing Spanish. I have been in South America for over a year now and for the 1^st six months in Portuguese Brazil and now in Argentina, I am truly frustrated with not being able to communicate in the native language.

So I thought, instead of spending time on the blog, I’d use that time learning Spanish, but you know what I haven’t and the blog hasn’t been updated neither.

International House, the English institute that I am working for has been running course for Trainee Spanish teachers in January and February and they needed Volunteer students. Two hours a day for 2 months and it is absolutely free. So I have been turning up for these classes and they have been great. I am in a class with 3 Americans, 1 Japanese, 1 Hungarian and 1 Canadian. I have to say that I like learning in a group, having had 3 separate Spanish teachers all to myself, I didn’t really enjoy the experience.

One of the American, name of Liam, another English teacher makes me laugh. He has been here for 15 months and he is really funny. When it is his turn to pronounce the Spanish phrases, you can see real pain coming across his face. His common saying is “uno palabra” – one word and usually he gets an answer of 5.

I don’t know if being an English teacher is a hinderance to learning the local language or if it is an excuse, but I am having real difficulty finding the time to sit down and study, 2 hours everyday is a good time. Either I get home late or I am just tired.

Streets of Buenos Aires

My schedule today is : get up at 6:15am, get a bus for my first lesson for 8:30am, take 3, 1.5 hour lessons and finish there at 1pm.

Catch a bus for my Spanish lessons  which starts at 2 — get some food. – have the Spanish lesson which then finishes at 4pm.

Catch a bus for the next English lesson across town. That is where I am now, got here early to write this.

The lesson will start at 6:30 to 8pm, after which it will be another bus home. Will I have the energy to study when I get home…….something tells me — I don’t think so.

Some friends have been having a real go at me about not speaking Spanish, which I think is really unfair. Especially when I try and they don’t have the patience to wait 5 minutes for me to string a sentence…..

I bumped into another International House Teacher at a Tango class the other day who has been out here for a few years, she said that for the 1^st year she didn’t speak a word of Spanish….

There is hope for me yet!

I must have been to over 10 different places to learn Tango until I found this place.

Belgrano, Buenos Aires.

Buenos Aires is the birth place of tango and it is a very touristic thing to do in Buenos Aires, but the locals really enjoy it as well. You can go to different Milongas (Tango dances) around the city, until the early hours everyday of the week. Some people are addicted to this particular form of dance.

There are many schools, some famous others not so….. and it is a big industry for Buenos Aires.

I have been to a lot of different places, some:

• There were too many people and not enough teachers.

• I turn up for one school and there is only 1 student, namely me.

• The teacher is really great, like watching an artist when he dances, but unfortunately he is working in a tourist place and so it’s the same class every time. I went to his classes on and off for about 3 months and got fed up with the same routine. There I met Tango Toni, an Ozy girl, well woman of 52 years. She sold her house in Australia and has been here now for about 3 months just learning tango and buy tango shoes. I expect she will go back when she runs out of money.

• Some classes with a guy who teaches outside in a park under a pavilion, spectacular setting. Again his classes where the same every time and I got tired of the repetition.

• One venue in a community hall where I thought the teachers were too much into themselves than teaching. And others where the teacher just wanted to dance and not teach.

I wasn’t getting to know the exact process which I was finding hard to find, maybe because most of these places didn’t teach in English.

Then I found another place where the teachers are famous and have taught all over the world. The classes are expensive, it is full of Germans who think this is the best school in Buenos Aires. I went there a few times, but the level was too high for me, even though it was meant to be for beginners. I remember one class where I started to dance with a German woman, who had a nice dress and expensive looking shoes, I noticed a big plaster on her one of her toes. She said to me whatever you do, don’t stand on my toe. The next step she screamed as I stood on her broken toe with my big boots. Poor girl still tried to teach me how to tango, nothing like the thought of inflicting pain onto someone else to motivate learning.

Buenos Aires

Here a lot of foreigners come for a couple of months or weeks just to improve their Tango. Bettina has been coming to Buenos Aires on and off for a few years. She has been dancing tango for about 20 years back in Berlin and she also teaches. I asked her to give me private classes. I was so frustrated with not getting any where with tango. I had 3 lessons with her when she introduced me to another school : DNI tango.

I went to 1 class there and really liked it, they have 6 levels of classes from beginners to advance, the classes are taught in both Spanish and English. There is a cafe with wi-fi there and the classes are upbeat and high energy , it’s relative cheap —- fantastic.

Tango in Buenos Aires

Palermo, Buenos Aires

I have made some new friends and I have noticed that with new friendships there comes a point when you get to know each other and then you discover something new, this maybe a bump in the road. If the bump is too big the friendship will not go any deeper, but if the bump is passed then this friendship would be a rare and wonderful thing.

I have learnt a lot from the people I have met. I understand that we are on our own personal paths with our own stuff to learn. I cannot say that what someone is doing is completely wrong because this is what may be needed in their life. I cannot afford to be prejudiced.

I know that a lot of people will not understand what I am trying to say here.

Streets of Buenos Aires

I find a lot out about famous people when they are being interview. A few years ago, I can’t remember his name, but a really famous actor was being interviewed. Growing up he said that he lived in a part of America where Rugby was played a lot in his school. The rugby players used to call him gay because he liked acting. This actor said that when the rugby players were having after match baths naked together, he was kissing girls on stage.

I have also been abused and beaten up because I had the wrong shade of skin for some people as a young child. I learnt that prejudice and hate does not help the world.

As a trained therapist I learnt that I could not afford to have any prejudices because they would influence the therapy, not for the good of the patient, but more in favour of the therapists prejudices.

All Yogis know that if they judge someone today, tomorrow their life may turn so that they become the judged.

What I am saying is that we all judge people, and that this is natural, but what we can do is be aware of this and hopefully don’t let it influence our life and the lives of others too much.

Because we are our on our separate paths…

A new Borrowed Cycle.

As I said, I am fighting with myself.

This has been a very long week. I have been getting frustrating with the little progress I have made with my Tango. I have been asking people for different tango places, the classes that I am having, I am not getting anyway. Either there is no one really to dance with or people aren’t just taking it seriously. Okay I don’t mean to the point where it’s not fun, but to the point where you can dance smoothly and that it a great feeling, greater than fun….

I checked out a new tango class which Seems really good with an instructor of the name Fernando.. I went to two classes downtown. I have to catch the last train at 10:33pm to get back to Saavedra. The class finished at 10.00pm.

I also saw a really good Beatle tribute band, which after a long story has resulted in me have little or no sleep last night and now I am really tired and thinking I should go out….. It’s Friday night.

So, I am fighting with myself.

In my pyjamas.

The Sun is beginning to set outside in Buenos Aires.

Balcony view

I am fighting with myself.

Hey, I don’t need to decide until later…. I can go out later because people don’t start to go out until really late round here -

Oh well, I think I will have a good night sleep tonight.

This is “lack of” thinking or do I went to go out?

]]> http://fiazmantastic.wordpress.com/2012/11/30/i-am-fighting-with-myself/feed/ 0 0.000000 0.000000 0.000000 0.000000 fiazmantastic A new Borrowed Cycle. Balcony view http://fiazmantastic.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/spring-in-buenos-aires/ http://fiazmantastic.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/spring-in-buenos-aires/#comments Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:33:11 +0000 fiazman http://fiazmantastic.wordpress.com/?p=1046 Continue reading →]]> Today I woke up round Sols house. I had some breakfast then I had my first class at 12pm, downtown with Liberty Insurance.

Buenos Aires in the Spring is very pretty, it has trees that have purple flowers.. every where. I haven’t seen this kind of tree before in my life.

Click to view slideshow.

The classes finished at 3pm today. I wanted to check-out a new Tango class later so I had to stay in the area until they started which was at 8:30pm.

I went to see “Moonrise Kingdom” an American Indie film, because there is an Indie Film festival going on here.

The Tango class – was a professional dance class, oh my God it also had a wall full of mirrors. The instructor goes to Japan to teach and gives demonstration tours of Tango, with his wife, around Europe.

It finished at 10:00pm —- I will go again.

Then I had an appointment with Joseph to borrow his bicycle while he was back in the US for 3 months. He lived up the street, but I had no idea what the bicycle was like, or even if it was worth it. Joseph is a new guy that I am getting to know….he has been in Argentina for 12 years, knows the language like the locals..

The cycle was good one –  frightening good.

I got to the train stop to get back, because I lived miles away, it was 10:45pm by now. Oh no I missed my train…. The next option was to get the other train route and get off nearby and cycle the rest… a cycle ride which I didn’t want to do with it being dark, having two backpacks, one on my back and the other on the front, a new cycle and not totally knowing the way.

Some how I got talking to the other cyclist in the cycle carriage and he was going the same way and he knew a really good route back to Saavedra.  He only spoke a few words of English and I spoke a few words in Spanish…He had a kind energy about him.

I followed him for about 13 blocks on my new bike and he brought me right to the front door – “Muchas gracious Mi amigo”

I got to sleep about 1am… tomorrow I will suffer…, but today was a good day.

This is now my second year in South America. I left the UK on October 27^th 2011. This year on that date I was back in the UK staying with my parents and two brothers. It was cold, rainy and dark for the two weeks and I had a cold for nearly all the time.

It was good to catch up with family, friends and my brothers. We may not talk much or on any emotional matters, but it is always good just hanging out. It was only a flying visit, two weeks and I only managed to see friends only once.

Freuds Bar, Shaftsbury Ave, London

The first day I was having dinner, I thought to myself, ” have I really been away for 1 year? “, because everything seemed the same back there.

When I left, it was still a bit cloudy and cold there, but I came back to blazing sun – fantastic.

My life here in Buenos Aires is now in a routine. Not sure if that is a good thing or not, but it feels good to relax for a bit. I know which buses to get and where to go. I am taking two classes of Tango per week, I haven’t found  ”the” classes yet, but I continue to learn.

Ashtanga Yoga with Bota continues and I am able to get into postures that I wasn’t able to, a few months ago.

I continue to be conscious of what state I am in, either healthy responsible adult or unhealthy helpless child. Also if I am concentrating on “lack off” or abundance.

Do they speak Spanish around ere? – that’s how far I feel I have come with the language – crap.

I have absolutely nothing to report at the moment, apart from, I was reminded about the importance of “play” from Paddy the other day and how important it is. Not just because it makes the creative juices flow, but also how it is very good for our health.

Let’s play and be cheeky….. just for it’s sake.

Or is it complicated because it is not the usual normal way, it is different. Take for example relationships..

You can say that the simple way is:- man meets woman, they get on, they get married, they have children, they grow old together, they die…

Is that not complicated or is that too simple or even boring?? What if you don’t want to have children, what if you don’t want to get married, what if….

Does that mean it is then, complicated, or does it mean that it is different?

Estacion Saavedra, Buenos Aires

I want on my second Visa run last weekend to Uruguay. A waste, since I am traveling to the UK in 3 weeks time, but I didn’t want to take any chances with the visa situation.

What has happened, what have I learnt in the last 3 months? Three thoughts come to mind:-

• Pain is not bad. From Ashtanga yoga I have learnt that I have to go through the pain barrier to get the body in a new posture. The pain is ok as long as I have tools to be able to bear it, i.e. keep breathing. So it seems that when we are stressed we stop breathing and it is then even harder. Deep breathing will keep you grounded and able to take the pain. The answer lies on the other side of the pain, to avoid pain keeps us on this side and nothing new happens. What do you think Sol?

I am not sure if this is due to work I have been doing with my body, but I have become aware of two thoughts  or modes of operation that prevail my life from the moment I wake up. These have been there for a long time, but without any awareness:-

• “I haven’t got” or “I want” -  I was shocked to find that this is the first thought I have when I wake up…shit!!!! If that is the thought that I concentrate on, then that is what I will get. The more I concentrate on “I haven’t got” or “I want” the more I am telling my Subconcious to get me “I haven’t got”  or continue to want. Where attention goes, energy flows, some shit like that. At the moment I am becoming more and more aware of this thought when I have it. Every time it happens I drop it, eventually I will like to find a thought to replace it.

• The second mode of operation that I slip into is, child or victim mode. Here I am powerless, helpless, I am not responsible and therefore I am frustrated and have a feeling of Hopelessness. Not a nice feeling. Again every time I become aware of this I am changing it, to a powerful adult. I have been in South America for nearly a year for god sake.

Ashtanga Yoga is powerful and it is helping me shift my old ways to the way that I want to be, or the way that I truly am? Let it be!